theory of the crossroad; is to be in a state of numbing confusion.
okay, so as the days go by and the white hair on my head, gets whiter still, i break the mirror. yes, i know, barbaric and all that. with all this work load breaking my back, i am not surprised, i think along the lines of hitler.
oh, alright, let's be nice to the reader of this blog and not make him want to shoot me.
i have now come to a point in life, where i write articles about things people ask me to, so writing this journal is a big feat.

remember that time when you sat on your bed for five minutes and realised that you had wasted sooo much time? oh, yea? that happened to me today morning!

i am writing this to no one in particular, but, why doesn't anyone listen to me anymore?
the dal is ready and the rice is burning, won't someone please turn the effing gas off?

i want to explain my situation but, i am losing the thread of words again and again.

let me start from the top. i thought one day, very long ago, that if i cram my day with enough work, i won't have the time to think about all the crap that is going around. so, i did that. now, i don't know what i did.
i want to sit across the table from someone and talk my heart out. like say, for example, tell someone that my back is really paining since the accident and the hot water bag and the painkillers aren't working.
or tell someone that i have given up on love, because no one is there to calm my tense nerves when shit hits the fan.
i can't tell anyone how i really feel cos someone will get hurt during my serenade.
all of this, is mind numbing. so? so, i heat the tea till the water evaporates and cook the rice till its black. then throw both down the drain and sleep hungry.
its easier that way. ignore the issue and drown your misery in a bottle of coca cola. (drinking is injurious to my health!)
sitting here on this chair, i want to get up and start screaming. what do i actually do? smile at the guy beside me and twirl my pen around my finger. this gives everyone the illusion that my mind is calm and at peace.
i then will proceed towards home and curse the rickshaw driver for driving like a nut case and tell my room mate that all of the world should drown in the dead sea. she will give me pitiful look and continue to watch the godforsaken television.
i will cry myself to sleep cos my heart is in pain and wake up with a smile and crack a joke on my room mate. again she will give me the pitiful smile and tell me that i should let out what is on my mind. this will be my turn to give her a pitiful smile.
tell who? tell why? tell how?
who is listening?
who?